As of lately, I have been working my ass off at my new job. I love it though so I don't mind too much.

I'm going to try and not get emotional too much right here but as of last night I have officially had my heart broken. I called my boyfriend after work and wanted to talk to him to see how his day was and after a few sentences, talking about when I could come to see him next, he evenutally broke it to me and said that I was not the right girl for him. Our relationship has not been picture perfect this entire time but it was for at least the first 9 months considering the circumstances of a long distance relationship. We did it before for an entire 8 months, but for some reason we couldn't do it for 2 this summer?? I was caught off guard but not completely. Lately, I have noticied that he had not been putting a lot of effort in to the relationship and I really never knew why but I didn't think it would come to a complete break-up. I really do not know what to do from here.

I've never dated anyone else but Travis before. He was my first true love and I have no idea how I can ever get him out of my mind. He was the first thing I woke up to thinking about and sadly I just started crying right when my day started. I hope this doesn't last long. He said he had wished that I could have been more emotionally independent but I thought that's what love was all about... having that person to be there for you to care for you all the time. Of course, at the end of the conversation he tells me that he will still always love me.... just to make it that much harder and ends the phone call with "Bye Babe... I mean.... Bye...."

This comes at the worst timing possible. I lost my best friend, just like the other 2, to their boyfriends. I am about to move out of this old house, thank God, and I just want to start over. I want new, older friends that are not immature and think sleeping around is 'cool'.

My Mom thinks I should date around but I really do not have the self-confidence to do that right now.

My life is a mess.

Oh yeah, and school starts soon.

ugh.